Opinions please, critique if you want. Does this section cross the line from teen fiction to adult fiction?

He reached the top of the last rise and looked down on his father%26#039;s land. Smoke rose from where the house should have been, and the stables were still burning. Crows and ravens circled lazily, as if they knew there would be enough for all. Tylan got closer, and an unfamiliar smell found its way into his nostrils. He could see no horses, but Thalder had owned hundreds. Closer still, and then he could hear them. A few, but not nearly all, were still in the stables. He knew there was no way he could get them out in time, so he reined his horse toward the house to see what remained to be seen. Something, a piece of fabric perhaps, waved from the fence around the house, and Tylan turned toward that spot. When he got there, breakfast made a return trip to daylight and a puddle collected in his left boot. (more coming . . .)

Opinions please, critique if you want. Does this section cross the line from teen fiction to adult fiction?
I think its getting close to the line, but not crossing. There are other %26quot;teen%26quot; books that are more graphic than this. Did you write this? If so, bravo!
Reply:Woah, that%26#039;s gruesome. ._. Umm, I think it still qualifies as teen fiction though.
Reply:Extremely Definetly.


usually teen fiction has no violence but this definitly makes it adult fiction for sure!
Reply:no i think its ok for teens
Reply:first of all, if you wrote this, it is freaking brilliant. your details and diction and overall style is just...very nice. i also like the imagery.





however, as a teen, i have read similarly greusome things, so while it may be a bit violent in that second part, i think you are still on the teen fiction side of the line, maybe just hovering near the line itself...if that makes sense





good work =)
Reply:haha. all the adults are gonna say its too gruesome. Its annoying how much adults want to censor teens because they think it is %26#039;too much%26#039;. this is a graphic passage no doubt but im sure any teen wwill be able to handle it. they see more on movies and t.v. than this. its still teen fiction.
Reply:I think it crosses the line of teen fiction but then again, look at the video games we play(yes I%26#039;m a teen) their even more gory then that. Personally i love adult fiction when its like this, and if you did write it its brilliant! Made me think of what you would read on the back of a book, but ya, if it is yours, and your writing a book, I think its going to be a damn good one ;)
Reply:This is very very good (I read it 5 times... I love it!!), but I%26#039;ve read more gruseme teen fiction storys than this. But it%26#039;s close! (Did you write this? It rocks!!) You are very good at detailing, and description. Keep at it!! ^_^
Reply:I am an adult and write adult fiction and I would go with teen fiction here. I see nothing wrong with it. It is fairly well written, but there were one or two places where I felt it needed to go just a little bit farther. For one thing - sitting there listening to the horses locked in the stables. You really need some kind of a sentence in there that shows some emotion and foreshadows the other atrocities to come. It must be a terrible sound to hear horses burning to death. You need a reaction.





Also I think as he sees that scrap of fabric, his heart would start racing and the pace would pick up a bit. But it is very good. Pax-C
Reply:Have you ever read %26quot;My Brother Sam is Dead?%26quot; It is supposedly a %26quot;young adult%26quot; read, yet the details about the war are just absolutely gruesome. This definitely goes nowhere near it, so you%26#039;re safe! And, by the way, I have to say, this is amazing!
Reply:Very well written, Herf---and fine for teens. As a young teen I was a big fan of horror comics and HP Lovecraft, so not too harsh for the young %26#039;uns. Keep up the good work!



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